i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
