Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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