Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
