TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
