If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
