I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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