how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
