I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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