is your mom at the bar?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
