I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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