Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
