living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Blood and glitter go together right?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
