I wannas sexs uuuuu
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
