i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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