i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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