I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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