it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
