just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
