I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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