Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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