put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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