STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
