I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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