Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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