I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
