drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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