Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
