He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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