Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
