At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
