You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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