how can u be prego again
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
