Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
