Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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