She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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