She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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