it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Couch. On fire.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
