I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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