when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
