She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
