Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
