You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
