Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
