addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
