I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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