Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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