i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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