She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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