I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
