Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
