Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
